Ask Elisa Podcast

TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST EPISODE

It’s a special Dating Storytime episode of Ask Elisa. I’m here with Rachael and we’re each gonna tell a story from our dating past. Rachel, would you please kick us off with one of your favorite dating stories? I don’t know if it’s my favorite, but it’s kind of funny.

Oh, that’s what we’re looking for. Yeah. I had been talking with this person and on a whim I was like, hey, let’s go get coffee.

So we went and got coffee. It was downtown at a restaurant and we were sitting at the bar. I was having coffee.

He was not. And we were just chatting. He was having nothing? Nope.

Okay. Yeah. Maybe water.

I don’t remember, but he had nothing. I had coffee. So we were just chatting and he lived on a boat and he was talking to me about how he went on this date with this woman who was really interested in like going on his boat with him and living on his boat with him.

And he thought that was really weird. And then two minutes later, he’s like, would you want to do that? Like trying to invite me on this trip around the world on his boat after telling me this story. Yeah.

And it was really, I know it’s not really that funny, but it’s just uncomfortable because the whole time you’re listening to him telling you about how he doesn’t want this person on the boat. And then he’s like inviting you. And you just met.

And I just met him. Do you think that he was setting himself up to like seem desirable? Like you should want to go on the boat with him. Like everybody wants to come on my boat with me.

And it was, maybe it wasn’t even true. I have no idea. It was just the oddest conversation.

So how did you, what did you do? What did you say? I said, no, because that does not sound fun to me. What was really funny is I had drank probably like four or five cups of coffee because I was like really just drinking coffee and listening to him talk about his boat. And I paid and I gave him a hug.

And I was like, it was nice to meet you. I’m going to take this energy now and go home and clean my house. And he looks at me.

He’s like, it was nice to meet you. Oh, he wanted more. Yeah.

Yeah. And I did not. So did you just say, yeah, and then walk away or what? I was like, yeah, it was nice to meet you.

And I walked away and I went home and I cleaned my house. And did he follow up or did you say nothing? There was nothing after that. Nothing after that.

He got the picture. Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. That is wild to like bash somebody for wanting to go on your boat and then wanting someone to go on your boat. I really think that maybe he was trying to set it up, like set, like taught, like this person really wanted to come on this boat with me to like make it sound so desirable.

And that’s what he was alluding to is the desirable piece in it. Like everybody wants me for my boat. Did he do that? I’m flipping my hair as I say it.

Yeah. No, he did not do that. He said it so straight face though.

Yeah. So weird. Are you ready for my story? Yeah.

I’m sure it’s so much funnier than this one. It’s embarrassing and it’s kind of, it’s longer because I let this go on probably, I let this go on far too long. Um, this is the one person that I met on match that I actually went out with.

And so the one thing I do like about match is that you can do a vibe check and do like a video call on the app. Some of them allow like videos, like to exchange videos back and forth. I think Bumble lets you do video call, but, um, match does it too.

And so this was my first time doing a video call before, before going on a first date. And so it was, um, veterans day. I remember this because it was Monday.

It was a Monday veterans day in 2024. So this was a while ago and we matched and just seemed to kind of get along. And I always ask, you know, if they don’t now, if they don’t put something about their politics in their profile, I just don’t even give them the time of day because if they don’t care enough to just, just like state their politics in their profile, then they don’t care enough about it in life for to be matched up with me basically.

But also, um, if they have to like, if they go get all like, well, I’m actually not any of the things and they like get all like, if they can’t just be like, okay. Yeah. Basically, basically, you know, I’m liberal, but I don’t have people who are liberal.

You don’t have to love everything. You don’t have to be like, oh, that means I get behind every single Democrat. And you know what I mean? Like, that’s not what it means.

I just want to know, um, do you hate women or not? That’s all I want to know. Right. And do you hate people of color? Right.

If you do get out of my face, right. Um, are you going to like, you know, my mother’s an immigrant. I can’t, I can’t be having people who hate immigrants in my life.

So, um, this person kind of didn’t have anything about it. So I asked him and he was a little bit like, I’m actually probably, uh, more liberal than like your average Democrat and just that kind of stuff. And honestly, like when white men say that, I’m kind of like, oh, sure you are.

Um, but anyway, he was, he was pretty cute. And when we, we did the video chat, we seem to like, um, connect. Okay.

And it was a day that I happened to be off work and it was kind of around like one o’clock or in the afternoon where we had the video chat. And I’m like, well, I’m free this afternoon if you want to meet. Um, and so we met for, um, for like an early dinner and we split an appetizer and I don’t think he drank either.

I don’t drink and he got, we got mocktails like at the end, they were really fancy and pretty. And it felt so nice to be able to like have someone buy me a drink because when you don’t drink, you don’t really get that. And we had a great conversation and it was really fun.

And it seemed like there was chemistry. And, um, when he, it was cold cause it was November. So we, he walked me to my car and then his car was kind of far away and it was cold.

So I was like, I’ll drive you to your car. We sat and talked to my car even more. Um, and then it was a good first date.

And then we went home and everything and then decided to have a second date and we scheduled it pretty quickly, but it wasn’t for like another, maybe, maybe like two weeks. And it was in the city in Seattle and I live a bit out of the city. So I parked at his place and then he was going to drive us to where we were going to go.

He, and so when he met me out of my car, he’s like, well, do you want to come in and see my place? And it was a really nice neighborhood that looked over like Washington. So I was like, you know, like, sure. And we go into his place and it is, it’s an old studio apartment, like, um, craftsman style.

Um, but it is so sparse. There is a mattress on the floor for his bed and he had just moved here from California and he said, my stuff is still in storage. What is just moved here? Um, I think it had been a couple of months.

Okay. But I was like, as he’s like, well, I actually want to go change my shirt. And so he went to the, there’s like a walk-in closet.

So he went in there to change. And I was in the, in the, um, living area, you know, it’s a studio. So in the room.

And so I snapped a picture and I, so I still totally have a picture of the mattress bed on the floor and it wasn’t like dirty or anything, but like they were old, it was old bedding. It wasn’t nice bedding. And I was just kind of like, wow.

Oh. And the one thing I forgot is that he was 38 years old. And that’s what he said.

Yeah. 38 years old. And I’m like, 38 years old and a mattress on the floor.

Not okay. But he is really nice. He’s really cute.

And like, we get along. So like, he just moved here. So I just decided to look past it.

And so he’s like, okay, for a date, uh, I know this place we can get tacos and then we’re going to go to the arcade bar. And I’m like, okay. And I’m thinking like, I do not like video games.

This is going to be terrible. Oh, that sounds fun to me. Yeah.

I, but no, we went and had delicious tacos. And then we walk into this arcade bar and I’m like, I’m going to hate this. I ended up having so much fun.

I absolutely loved it. It was like a vintage one. So there were, it wasn’t like a dance, dance type things.

It wasn’t like, you know, it was like vintage pinballs and machines. And there was like one of those, there’s like, um, games where you have to move the thing to like get the, get the little ball down through different holes and try to get to the next level. And we had so much fun with that.

And we kept, we kept getting pretty far and people were crowding around and like watching us. And it was so fun. And then when we were about ready to leave, there was a guy doing that and he was, um, he, we were watching him and we were cheering him on, just me and this date.

And the guy ended up getting it all the way to the end. And afterwards we were both just like joking, like fangirling over him. We were like, can I shake your hand? And we were just being so silly together.

And it was so fun. Yeah. And so we get back to his place and, um, oh, and on the drive back, he like held my hand and I’m like, this is really something like, this was so fun.

And so when I got back to his place, I was like, that was the most fun I’ve ever had on a date. And he was like, you’re fucking with me. Right.

And I was like, no, that was so much fun. I had so much fun. Um, and, and so then he like kisses me and we’re kissing and he like, like kind of puts his leg behind mine to like, get me to go down onto the mattress on the floor.

And I was like, okay, thank you. Like it’s getting late. Yeah.

And it was like midnight and it was so stormy and rainy and, you know, driving around the Seattle area like that at night. Oh, it was a terrible drive home. He had to go back to California for a while.

So we didn’t see each other, um, until like another, actually until Thanksgiving, because my family was celebrating Thanksgiving on, uh, we often don’t celebrate on Thanksgiving because one of my brothers usually has to work. So, so I’d like, he wasn’t doing anything for Thanksgiving because he doesn’t have family here. And so I was like, well, why don’t you come over on Thanksgiving? And we’ll just like hang out.

It will be. So he came over and we hung out, watched a movie and we’re watching Ladybird. I love the movie Ladybird.

I make a lot of people watch Ladybird. I’ve never seen it. You have to watch it.

Um, and so it takes place in 2003 and it’s about a senior in high school. And I was a senior in high school in 2003. So we’re sitting, yeah, we’re the same age.

So we were sitting and watching this movie about, and I’m thinking like, I like part of the reason why I like it is because of that, that nostalgia. And so I asked him thinking he’s a few years younger than me. I asked, when did you graduate high school? What year did you graduate high school? Dude says 1997.

Oh, you’re not 38. No, I was like so confused. I was like, wait, what? And like, first I thought like, was he like a child genius? And he like graduated when he was like 15.

You’re so optimistic. Yeah. I was like, was he like Taj Mowry and smart guy? Remember smart guy? I thought maybe he was like a child in high school.

Like my first thought. And he was, I was, he saw the confusion on my face and he was like, wait, what age did I put on my profile? And I had been really excited about this man. So I was just, I mean, disappointed.

He’s 46. Yeah. Like that’s a big age difference to lie about.

And I was really upset and he was kind of like, well, I just like, I never match with, with people when I put my actual age. And so he’s, he’s like, did you, what age did you think I was? I’m like 38. I fully believed you were 38 because you said you were 38.

And he’s like, well, yeah, I look young for my age. And I, and I seem, and I just identify more with younger people. And I’m just like, I don’t, you know, so this, this man who lied on his profile is in my house.

We’d have been having a lovely time. Everything had been going well, except the couple things, especially, you know, I’m thinking like now a mattress on the floor for a 46 year old seems like, that’s bad, like absolutely horrible compared to a 38 year old. 38 is bad, but 46 year old with a mattress on the floor.

And I was just, so I was kind of like, I don’t know how to react. I was just, oh, and I’m just trying to like, okay, whatever. Let’s just, you know, finish this date.

And, um, and we make out some more, even after that. And I’m like, let’s just finish this date. I’m just like, well, no, because he was really like fun.

And I liked him. If he, if he had been 46 from the beginning, I would have liked him. Right.

And so I’m trying to like, see his point of view, trying to get past it. And again, I was giving so much more grace in dating. I was allowing bad behavior in dating before I started really being able to, to just like, you know, and also at this point, because I hadn’t been dating that long.

Um, after my breakup, I was still just kind of like, you know, I was a bit more open to experiences and not thinking I want to find, I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn’t want a forever partner at that point. Like, I didn’t really think that I thought it would take time. So I, um.

Before we started having standards. Yeah. Before I, before I like really knew that this was really bad behavior, I was just like kind of letting it go.

And then stupid me was just like, I’m going to keep seeing this guy. Like I, I was, um, and I didn’t want to tell people, you know, if, if you ever have to edit yourself, edit how things are going with a, with someone you’re dating, that is an automatic sign that you should stop seeing them. So then I am texting him and I noticed he’s pulling away.

I’m thinking, okay, like maybe I’ll just like, I don’t know if I can live with this. I don’t know. He lied.

Like the only reason, like he wasn’t lying. He was lying to get younger women, right? Like, so I, you know, I couldn’t, I could not let it go. I was trying to, but I could not let it go.

And, um, the way that his sketch, okay. He, he was a car salesman. Again, this is, he was a car salesman at a, uh, a high-end dealership for high-end cars, expensive cars.

And, but then when, this is what he told you. Um, I, I’m, I don’t think it was a lie. Um, so the thing is I was trying to schedule the next date with him.

And he w he was like, I have to work on my manifestations. What are you manifesting? A bed frame? He needed to manifest a bed frame, manifest the confidence in his birth year. Um, but also he, um, he would talk about how he really had to focus on work when I would try to schedule a date with him.

I’m like, you’re a car salesman. What are you doing on your days off to prepare you for showing people? Like what? Yeah. And so I finally just sent him a text that said, um, this seems very one-sided at this point and I have no interest in continuing it.

I wish you the best. And he never texted back or anything. And I feel like over that point, it had been like six weeks of dating.

And I feel like if you have gone on that many dates with somebody and they end things, you, you need to respond. Like, I mean, even with like a saluting emoji would have been great, but no, like no decency to, and I, and I think he knew I was never going to let the thing go. He got caught in his lie.

What else was he lying about? Um, and so I have shared this story on Tik TOK and there are so many theories about this guy. And, you know, I think a lot of the theories were giving him way too much credit because some of them were like, oh, he’s married. And that was like his smash pad.

I’m like, if he was wealthy enough to have a smash pad on the side, it would have been nicer. Um, I just think he was, uh, an idiot who didn’t have his life together and just thought he could lie, lie his way to a young hottie like me. That’s too much laughing.

I love how you said that. That’s too much laughing, Rachel. That was not fun.

That wasn’t meant to be a joke. That was the truth. I appreciate your confidence and you are a young hottie.

Thank you. You are also a young hottie. Okay.

This concludes our young hottie podcast, podcast, young and hot. Thanks for sharing your story. Yeah.

Thank you for listening to Ask Elisa, the good, the bad, and the ick. I’m your host, Elisa Sparkman. This episode was produced by me and a guy I met on a dating app.

Audio engineering, editing, and music by Jacob Patterson.